Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
