I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
