i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
