Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
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