Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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