My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
