I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
