I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
