you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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