I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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