No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
