So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
