I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize