Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
