Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
