she kept yelling 'call me bella'
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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