I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
