well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Randomize