Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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