you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
