Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
