I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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