I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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