Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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