i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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