real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
