You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
