David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
