He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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