Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
