I am in a vortex of obligation.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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