I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
