Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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