I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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