so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
