so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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