Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
