I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize