Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
