Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
