he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
