i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
