what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
