dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
