Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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