The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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