isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
