So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
