Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
so let's talk penis.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
