I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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