uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
