Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
