he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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