Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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