i can't believe i had my finger in that
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
