It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
