I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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