woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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