New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
