I feel like I'm in dance class right now
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
