I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
