She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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